Today as Matthew was catching up on his homework for the past week, I noticed that he had fallen silent, something that is completely unlike him--he is always humming or singing or chattering to himself. I looked over at him, his head was buried in his arms as he quietly sobbed. I went over to him, put my arms around him and pulled him onto my lap. I knew what was wrong--he misses Patrick. He doesn't understand why we had to move away from him. "There isn't anyone to play Lego's with now or read cartoons or play with now. It's just me again, Mom. Why can't we live by them again?"
I didn't know what to say to him. All I could do was hold him close, rock him, and tell him it was going to be okay. I told him that we had prayed about it and we felt this is where we felt the Lord had told us we need to be...cold comfort to an eight year old missing his cousin terribly.
I was as kind as I could be to him tonight--I even took him to Taco Bell for dinner because he wanted five soft tacos (he made it through 4 1/2 of them before he was done). Still, there were moments when he would get a far away look in his eyes, they would mist over and he would grow unusually quiet. He is longing for home, and I don't blame him. Tonight as we were getting ready for bed, I told him that I cried too when I first moved here because I missed my family so badly. He said, "Really? Did it ever get better?" I told him it did, it just takes time, and the best thing we can do is to stay busy and find lots of things to be involved with to fill up the time that we would normally spend with our family. As he was drifting off to sleep as I snuggled him, he asked me if I could take him to Todd and Wendy's so that we could be with them because "they are our family and I want to be with them."
I miss home too. I miss being able to get in my car and drive somewhere and not need a map. I miss straight roads. I miss mountains. I miss my mom. I miss your mom.
**sigh** I guess I will go soak in my big tub for a while I read my latest book, The Elegant Universe. You might like it or maybe you won't. It's about superstring theory and how it unifies the juxtaposing theories of relativity and quantum physics. It is simply...elegant, especially with the further light and knowledge that we have.
Much love to you.