Saturday, January 08, 2011

30 Days of Truth ~ Day 1

So, in response to my new friend's challenge (read more here: ), I am going all in on this one.

It is not going to be easy, it certainly will not be pretty, but it should be interesting.  And interesting is what it is all about, right?

So to kick it off, here is my first response.

Day 1: Something you dislike about yourself.

Me, not like something about myself? Hahahahahahaha! What is there not to like? 
OK. Done joking around.  In actuality, I am very hard on myself and find a myriad of things that I do not like. I have a deeply ingrained feeling that I am never enough, will never be enough, will never qualify or measure up, will never "arrive." Even if I can look around me and actually see with my own eyes evidence that indicates otherwise, I still feel this way. For some reason, I lack the ability to see myself as others see me and even when they tell me (over and over and over and over again) that I am inherently lovable, capable, competent, talented, etc., I don't see it. In fact, I think they all have rocks in their heads.

Perhaps this is the thing I dislike about myself the most. I wish for one moment I could feel like I was enough instead of like I never measure up. 

That and I don't like the fact I am a lousy at sports in general. Some people got it, some people don't.  I definitely fall into the "don't" category.


ms. marginalia said...

I am with you about not taking compliments and being blind to seeing myself in the same positive light that friends and family do.

You know I think you are strong and amazing. It's hard to trust it, I know.


Desi said...

I love this idea...I would love to do it too, but I'm just afraid to be this honest.

I could have written your day one post...I feel exactly the same way every day.

sostinkinhappy said...

(((Hugs))) Desi. Maybe you could do it, but just not toss it up on a blog? I think in this bloggity world we forget....we *can* have private writing spaces that we don't share with all the world. Well, at least I forget sometimes!!!

sostinkinhappy said...

Dear Ms. Marginalia -

So what can we do to be better about seeing ourselves as others see us? It seems to be something so many struggle with. Why is this do you think? How do we overcome it, at least in part?



the Lola Letters said...

Yeah, I think you are ridiculously wonderful...and we only just met! I wish there was a way to make you believe it too! {But I can definitely relate. I believe certain things about myself that no amount of positive reinforcement can take away, it seems.}