Tuesday, February 02, 2010

His One Flaw and an Easy Fix

Finally!  I have discovered my husband's one flaw.  (Seriously folks, I didn't think he had any others aside from me, the perpetual thorn in his ever lovin' side).

But I digress: his one flaw is that he snores. Yes, I have discovered after nearly 8 years of marriage that even super heroes snore. Not loudly and not all the time. In fact, it wasn't until my pregnancy induced insomnia that I ever noticed it all that much. But now....Now it drives me to the brink of insanity on a nightly basis.

Since I am at heart a lazy person and I really really really like my bed and don't want to haul my bee-hind out of bed in the dark of night go find somewhere else to sleep, I have spent many an hour studying him by the light of the alarm clock as he lays there, peacefully snoring in dreamland. From my studied hours,  I have been able to ascertain that he only snores when he is (a) sleeping on his back and (b) his right arm is tossed carelessly above his head.  Not his left (as pictured above) - that doesn't induce the snoring. It has to be his right arm.  If he is sleeping there with his arms across his chest or to his side he doesn't snore - only when that pesky right arm is draped across his head.

In the past, I have poked and prodded and made him roll over to get him to quit snoring. It worked tolerably well except for the fact I had to wake him up and girls, let's face it: Even husbands need their beauty sleep. He works so hard for us during the day I always felt so guilty waking him up to make him roll over because his snoring was bothering me - it didn't bother him one little bit.

So over lunch yesterday I was teasing him about finally discovering his one flaw (which is fortunately not a fatal one).  He said, "Hey, next time I start snoring, just move my arm and see what happens instead of waking me up to roll over."  Brilliant! What a simple, elegant solution!!! Now why hadn't I thought of that?  (Just goes to prove that one can be a pointy-headed academic and still not be all that smart, if you know what I mean...)

Last night was the first night for me to try our little experiment.  Much to my delight and amusement, it actually worked! He starts snoring, I gently remove his arm from above his head and place it across his stomach. He stops snoring. Rinse and repeat as needed.

So I guess this means that he really doesn't have a flaw after all. He just needs me even more in his life to keep him from snoring if for no other reason. Right?

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